Chapter Four
Findings
1: Age of Widows
55.6% of the interviewees are under 40 years old and 44.4% are over 40. The following chart shows classification of age in the research.
| Chart 2. Age of Widows | ||
| Percentage | Number | Age |
| 0.4 | 4 | Under 15 |
| 2.6 | 26 | 16-20 |
| 20.5 | 201 | 21-30 |
| 32.4 | 318 | 31-40 |
| 28 | 275 | 41-50 |
| 16.1 | 158 | Over 50 |
| 100 | 982 | |
2: Education Level of Widows
Most of the widows are uneducated (78.1%). 10.4% of them have passed elementary education, 11.5% secondary education and 1.7% higher-education.
3: Number of Children of Widows
Most the widows have children among whom 18.3% have 1-2 children, 76.1% have 3-8 children and 3.8% have 9-12 and others have more than 12 children.
4- Length of widowhood
In most of the cases the length of widowhood is less than 10 years. 29.3% less than 5 years, 36.1% between 5 to 10 years and 34% more than 10 years.
5- Reason for widowhood
The biggest reason for widowhood is the death of husbands (53.4%). Martyrdom of the husband is the second large reason for widowhood (38.8%); the divorce is 4.4% and the death of husband due to overusing drugs and family problems are 2.8%
6- Lifestyle of the Widows
After a woman is identified as a widow, she has to remarry or go to his father’s or any other relatives’. In any case, there is a man leading her life; either her husband’s father, brother, uncle or her own father, brother and uncle.
The lifestyle for Afghan widows is different, but, in any case, a man is leading her life. One of the most effective factors for specification of lifestyle of widows in Afghanistan is the children. Based on our society’s culture, the man can take the responsibility of the children, but if a woman wants, she has to accept the conditions the man’s family proposed. That is why, in some cases, the widows get married unintentionally.
| Chart 3. Lifestyle of Widows | ||
| Lifestyle | Number of People | Percentage |
| Independent | 533 | 55.2 |
| With Father’s Family | 109 | 11.3 |
| With Husband’s Family | 97 | 10 |
| With Son Family | 165 | 17.1 |
| With Daughter’ Family | 33 | 3.4 |
| Lonely | 6 | 0.6 |
| Other | 23 | 2.4 |
| Total | 966 | 100 |
The results of our research demonstrate that 55.2% of the widows are living independently and 44.8% dependently. The lifestyle has a strong relation with length of widowhood. Most of the independent widows are between 31 to 40 years old (69.4%) and from 41 to 50 years old are (64.3%). The younger widows are, the more dependently they live. For example, the number of widows more than 50 years old are 1.9%, between 16 to 20 are 46.2% and more than 50% are the widows under 15 years old.
A widow from Maimana says:” I am living with my brothers, but I have problems with their wives. I want to live lonely, but my brothers don’t allow me. They say it is a dishonor for us if you live alone.”
The widows who live with their husband’s families are different from 2.6% for the women over 50 years old and increases to 42.3% for the widows between 16 to 20 years old. The widows who have married children, over 50 years old are living with their children (55.8%), and mostly their sons (48.1%).
The widows whose widowhood is less than 5 years living with their fathers’ families or husbands’ families constitute 34.7% of our research, while the widows whose widowhood is between 10 to 15 years constitute 9.7% of the cases. The most important reason for young widows to live with father’s or husband’s family is because of predominant social culture. They have not to have eye contact with unknown men. Nevertheless, they have to be led by a man from her father’s or her husband’s family until her children grow up enough. Based on our research, young widows who have not enough education to make money or work outside have to live with father’s or husband’s family, while such women are not consent of their lifestyle.
Taking into account widespread of the poverty among Afghan families, a man-led family takes the responsibility of the young widow although they are being misused as slaves and her children would work for the man.
Abhiding in rural or urban areas makes no difference. But according to the research, most of the widows who live with their father’s families are in Kabul and Kapisa and the widows who live with their husband’s families are most in Nangarhar province. There is a difference in who takes the responsibility of a widow depends upon the widow’s age. The supervision of a widow over 40 is most taken by her son or her groom and less than 30 years old taken by her brother-in-law or her father in law or her own brother or father.
28.3% of the widows are led by their sons, 11.5% by their fathers or brothers and 13.7% by their husband’s relatives. 5.1% are taking their mother in law, nephews, or other new relatives as responsible and leader of their life. 39.6% are led by themselves among them 62.1% are living with their relatives. A Kabuli woman says:” I am living with my son and I have no will to do anything. He says that a woman should stay either in home or in the grave.”
7- Satisfaction from the Life
44% of the widows who live with the families of their husbands are extremely unsatisfied, while 14.3% of the widows living independently are unsatisfied of their lives. A woman who suffers from shared life says about her pains:” I cannot live without my family because I have nowhere to refuge to. I have to burn and bear like a candle.” Such women are encountering a lot of problems such as physical violence, hard works at home, lack of freedom and so many limitations for going outside, financial problems, affection to diseases and other problems. The work pressure is the biggest factor for keeping the widows unsatisfied (31%) particularly they have to do the work by hands and other pertaining works.
22.8% of the widows living with their relatives are suffering bad financial problems, 10.4% face with physical violation, 9.4% have limitation in going or working outside, 7.9% are suffering personal and familial interference and 3% are suffering bad diseases and have lack of health cares. Our group discussions show that despite family problems, unfavorable security situation, poverty and violation against them, they love living inside a family led by a man.
As a whole, the dissatisfaction of widows roots from social humiliation, being badly treated, unable to take tutelage of their children, doing hard works, forced marriages and limitation in their freedom and financial problems. But based on international treaties, all human beings are equal.
A woman who lives in third district of Balkh province says:” my husband’s family misuse me as a slave and I have to bear a lot of pressure. I am told that I am eating what they cook. There is no other way. I have nobody to protect and support me.”
8- Violation Against Widows
The violation is the biggest issue that Afghan women are being encountered with. There are many different reasons an Afghan woman is dealing with violation such as illiteracy, lack of awareness about their rights, suffering the violation and accepting it, low awareness of the people and dominant culture in the society. What seems is the most important factor is the cultural diversity in Afghanistan because different cultures have different values and interactively they make life a little hard. Such traditions keep the women silent and they never talk of the violation.
Based on the research, when we were interviewing the widows most of them never wanted to talk of violence on them particularly in response to direct questions, but in indirect questions it was somehow different. Women’s understanding about the word “violation/violence” is only in regard to physical attacks so that in the research when we use the word “violation or violence” we mean only physical violation.
8-1: Relation between the Age and Violation
The situation of young women is always worse in comparison to their older counterparts, according to HRIC’s reports. For example, the reason why the women settled in south and west-south of Afghanistan are committing suicide more than other parts shows that the women from 15 to 25 years old commit suicide due to familial violation (87%). According to the research, older women are facing with violation less. 50% of the victims of violation are between 16 to 20 years old and there are a few cases in regard to violation against old women, 41 to 50 years old (17.3%). This is because the older a woman is, the more she wants to live with her family man supporter.
Of course the women over 50 years old have violation in a wide range. 21.8% are being violated by their sons, brides and grooms and among them near 10% are under psychic pressure. Whereas an old widow who has lost her financial supporter and now needs to be taken care of has so many problems such as food, clothing, health care and so on. This will lead to mental problems, pressure and even physical problems.
An old woman from Bamiyan province says:” I feel I am something extra or additional over my daughter’s family. I wish the government would allocate a place for me and my counterparts.”
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